1. |
Flip Flop Girl
01:24
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flip flop girl
say you don't abhor me
then why the fuck
do you ignore me
flip flop girl
tired of your shit
acting like a hypocrite
flip flop girl
like john kerry
not someone
i'd want to marry
flip flop girl
lost this election
i lost my erection
when confronted with the juxtaposition of your varying positions
your arguments make your sound far from a logician
your flip flopping your wishy washing, but never the admission
you'd make a good Democratic politician
flip flop girl
what you tell me
is not the
reality
if you we're
on TV
fox news is not where you would be
flip flop girl
some shit i hate
flip flop girl
out of my top 8
flip flop girl
you're not that great
god i hope i'm still straight
when confronted with the juxtaposition of your varying positions
your arguments make your sound far from a logician
your flip flopping your wishy washing, but never the admission
you'd make a good Democratic politician
flip flop girl
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2. |
No Evolution
03:33
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The assumption of evolution was not quite the solution
The founding fathers sought, within a learning institution
so in the United States constitution
They included the theory, of god’s great creation
No betrayal or reliance, no math or pseudoscience
Just jesus our liberator and every ones compliance
Darwin previously said from apes evolved a man
But the G-man has a greatly superior plan
We fought persecution
In the merican revolution
Not for the resolution
Of kids learning evolution
Jesus had a crucifixion
we owe him religious conviction
And a total abolition
of fucking evolution
America needs to eradicate religious opposition
a fraud is not a politician, even with a heart condition
evolution, can’t recognize, jesus Christ won’t compromise
he wont consume your lies, and wont compromise
our schools must recognize intelligent design
we did not evolve to have a spine
it was granted by a power that is so divine
we didn’t evolve to include another line
no evolution, write it into the constitution
no evolution, we need a Christian revolution
no evolution, write it into the constitution
no evolution, this is the final solution
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3. |
Let the Eagle Soar
03:29
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This eagle's place is in the sky.
She's still got a lot of flying to do.
You can see it in her eye,
Though she's cried a bit
For what we've put her though.
She's soared above the lifted lamp
That guards sweet freedom's door.
In the dews, the damps, the watchfires
Of a nation torn by war.
Oh, she's far too young to die
You can see it in her eye
She's not yet begun to fly.
It's time to let the mighty eagle soar once more.
Let the eagle soar,
Like she's never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.
This country's far too young to die.
We've still got a lot of climbing to do,
And we, we can make it if we try.
Built by toils and struggles
God has led us through.
We've fought for freedom dear
both here and on the distant shore
Paid a price a sacrifice
A price you can't ignore
Oh, we're far too young to die
We can make it if we try
We've not yet begun to fly.
It's time to let the mighty eagle soar once more.
Let the eagle soar,
Like she's never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Let the eagle soar,
Like she's never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.
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4. |
Teh Internets!!!!!11
01:51
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in 1974,
teh internets were invented by al g0re
jk, thats wut hed lyke u 2 think
n0 “AlGoreithms” keep data n sync
TCP/IP is a lie
make that up, i w0nder y
s0me crazy things, theyd lyke u 2 believe
but were n0t that naive
teh internets r n0t a big truck
0n which data u can jsut dump
teh internets r a series 0f tubes
cre8ed by g0d 4 pwning n00bs
u believe teh lies, lol
then u d0nt believe in g0d, g0in 2 hell
a series 0f tubes, by teh big man n teh sky
n0t sum bullshit, electrical l0ws and highs
sumthing as c0mplex as a serial bus,
c0uld n0t have been created by 1 0f us
man may have cre8ed teh c0mmand line
but teh GUI is fr0m a p0wer, s0 divine
teh internets, invented by g0d
rec0gnize, d0nt b a ghey wad
0f u d0nt, ur g0in 2 hell
gtg ttyl
teh internets, a series 0f tubes
teh internets, 4 pwning n00bs
teh internets, the lies r a disgrace
teh internets, h0pe u run 0ut 0f disk space
check 0ut 0ur myspace
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5. |
Armageddon
02:16
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armageddon
listen closely
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6. |
HFCS Movement 1
02:24
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HFCS 1 (Sippin' on some high fructose corn syrup)
5,600 years ago
god was sick of the status quo
he grew tired of eating flower tortillas
then one day god had an idea
he created new type of grain
of which its taste he could not complain
god called this new grain corn
the tortilla industry was then reborn
in the year 1957
god flew down from his home in heaven
for corn, he thought of a great new use
as this grain has gotten quite profuse
from it comes a substance the sweetest of sweet
and good luck getting that shit from wheat
god shared with two men a sacred process to produce
this great american sweet sweet corn juice
high fructose corn syrup is so great
not only because it's something assholes hate
it's how the free market prefers to sweeten
the sweet taste of freedom that can't be beaten
It's not really so high in fructose
in fact, it's got a lot of glucose
it's much more cost effective than sucrose
and its freedomful taste is real close
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7. |
HFCS Movement 2
02:53
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so you say you that don't like HFCS
well that's an important issue that we'd like to address
you think it's health effects are detrimental
your a stupid commie, go eat some lentils
Why can't you open your eyes and see?
instead you'd rather go into the forest
and hug a tree
trip on some LSD
hide from reality
you're just a stupid hippie
natural, you say it is not
corn is natural or at least thats what i thought
you say your against genetic modification
then you against one of god's great innovations
why can't you accept the truth?
god has blessed this nation
with some great creations
food transformation
we have an obligation
of continuation
high fructoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose
H F C S
sweet taste of freedom its the best
this sweetener beats all the rest
thank you god we're truly blessed
its in every thing
of sweeteners, it is surely king
if gives food that special zing
it makes food worth tasting
42 lbs per year
its nothing anyone should fear
its that recommended intake
that the free market dictates
you say that it will make you fat
but what the fuck is wrong with that?
its the new american way
eat up don't be gay
why wont you fucking eat
this heavenly, awesome, delicious treet?
high fructoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose
H F C S
sweet taste of freedom its the best
this sweetener beats all the rest
thank you god we're truly blessed
its in every thing
of sweeteners, it is surely king
if gives food that special zing
it makes food worth tasting
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8. |
HFCS Movement 3
00:32
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HFCS
no need to protest
sweet taste of freedom
nothing to flee from
high fructose
corn syrup
high fructose
corn syrup
it is cheaper
to produce
this sweetener is a keeper
sweet sweet corn juice
high fructose
corn syrup
high fructose
corn syrup
HFCS yes!
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9. |
Christian Surfers
04:16
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get out of here muslims, atheists, and jews
you're not welcome here buddhists or hindus
the CHRISTIAN god created these waves
only for those of us who are saved
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10. |
Terrorism
01:43
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the spin stops here
no time for queers
on the american frontier
no need for fear
of 911 attacks
troops got our backs
they're not coming back
we're staying on track
no troop withdraw
for any of y'all
we're fox news viewers
kill the terrorist evil doers
people from the sand
mistreated our land
now united we stand
with a gun in our hand
then the terrorists fled
to their land instead
so the president said
25 mil for osama's head
no troop withdraw
for any of y'all
we're fox news viewers
kill the terrorist evil doers
support our troops
red white and blue
you blew up our towers
but we're the world's super power
we killed saddam
you're next osasma
bin ladden
you ass will be gotten
we have not forgetten
you'll soon be dead and rotten
no troop withdraw
for any of y'all
we're fox news viewers
kill the terrorist evil doers
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11. |
Liberal Media
02:02
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I hate the liberal media
the liberal media sucks
I hate the liberal media
us conservatives it fucks
I hate the liberal media
including wikipedia
fuck the liberal media
I hate the liberal media
the liberal media sucks
I hate the liberal media
us conservatives it fucks
we prefer fox news
its not run by liberals
fuck the liberal media
edit wikipedia
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12. |
Flavor Country
02:19
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200 years ago, god created this great nation
due to european culinary molestation
god encouraged the founding fathers to grind up their meat
liberty and autonomy come with freedom to eat
vegetation was costly, something americans couldn't afford
so inspired by god, american inventors including henry ford
constructed a great device that made it possible to grind meat
this meat was then sold all over the country really really cheap
the meat grinder forces meat through small holes as it cuts
this separates all the the un-american meat slurry stuff
so all thats left is freedomful american ground meat
invented by god, grinded up meat sure is a treat
god was ecstatic but still just wasn't quite right
so he thought long and hard for 7 days and 7 nights
then a great light bulb went off in god's great head
put it in a pan and bake it similarly to bread
god invented meatloaf on the 8th day
it's as american as choosing not to be gay
god invented meatloaf for the american nation
meat loaf is god's most american innovation
god invented meatloaf on the 8th day
it's as american as choosing not to be gay
god invented meatloaf for the american nation
meat loaf is god's most american creation
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13. |
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6 thousand years ago God said
let there be light
before that it sucked
because there was only night
God was on a role so he
created man from dust
man was lonely so the creation
of woman was a must
God made adam and eve
he didn't make adam and steve
They had a boy named Cain
must have had some sisters, killed his brother
to populate the earth,
he had his sisters and i guess his mother
next God made dinosaurs
something Noah could not afford
for his ark, they were too enormous
God said fuck you tyrannosaurus
fuck you tyrannosaurus
God has a plan and it
does not involve dinosaurs
are they really needed here today?
no way!
God says
to be fruitful and multiply
so dinosaurs cannot be here
because they'd eat us then we'd die
when Jesus comes back
he won't be riding a dinosaur
although that would be really cute
it's not a goal for which we should shoot
but there is one great goal
we could easily achieve
that goal is '10 in 2010'
if Jesus doesn't come back by then
if Jesus doesn't come back by then
6 thousand years and only
6.6 billion people
is that enough people here today?
no way!
we need to catch up with China
ladies, open your vaginas
it's our duty, there ain't no maybe
don't be fruity, make some babies
6 thousand years and only
6.6 billion people
is that enough people here today?
no way!
when Jesus comes back
we need people to watch his back
he's got a lot of enemies
none of which are you or me
God hates dinosaurs
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